The Last Letter
by thexkat
Summary: After their night together in "I Do", Blaine decides to stop the suffering when he realizes that Kurt just used him for sex, and that he isn't going to get him back; so he writes him a letter; then he disappears. Will they get back at the end?
1. The Letter

So this is just something that i wanted to write after watching "I Do" yesterday, cause i feel that when it comes to Klaine break up, everyone is blaming Blaine and I'm like yea, it's his fault but still, now kurts just playin games and blaine still loves him, and its irritatin just how much blaine is willing to give without ever getting anything back i mean yest it was clear that kurt just wanted sex -or wants to make believe so- all the while blainers wanted to be the one getting married and to him.  
so yea, its a OS i guess but if for some miracle people read and want a continuation, i wouldnt mind writin it (:

That's it, i don't own a thing aaand i highly recommend reading while listening to glee's version of 'somewhere only we know', i did while writing -xo,kat.

* * *

Sex. That's all it was for Kurt, a simple one night stand and he was left to feel the regret and the guilt of it all.  
He felt used, he felt as if the world had played an awful joke to him and he was to blame.  
So he took a pen, and he opened a copybook and started writing.

"_What do you expect from me?_  
_I failed you, I know I did in the worst way I could ever betray you... and oh god don't I regret it! I was in the wrong, but even if I know so, I can still understand what happened to me that night; can you tell me you don't? cause that would be an awful lie given the situation we put ourselves in just yesterday. You said you were dating someone else back in New York, and still you threw that away for a night with me._  
_So yes, you must very well understand what happened to me, I missed you, and I was losing my mind over the fact that you were so far away, meeting new and interesting men every single day, just a while after the episode in which we fought because you were receiving private messages that were almost sexting with this guy, what's his name? I don't even remember anymore... it seems so stupid and insignificant now..._  
_So yes, I made a mistake -a huge one-, but I never stopped loving you. _  
_I remember that night, I was trying to imagine that the one with me was you, that it wasn't happening, that you hadn't abandoned me, that you still loved me even when it didn't seem so. I was broken, and needy. You still don't understand, Kurt? I needed you, I needed someone to turn to when my parents were being especially difficult, I needed someone to trust, someone to rely on... I needed that place that only we knew, that place that doesn't even exist anymore because it was our place, remember? the place that only we knew? I know it's stupid, it was just a sheet fort, but it felt safe when it was you and me. I know this could be the end of everything, because I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin again. I know it's cheesy that I'm almost using one of our songs, but that's exactly how I've been feeling all this time, I just needed you to give me a minute, just one minute for me_  
_You said you were never going to say goodbye to me, but it seems that that's exactly what you intend to do, you say you still love me, and then you play games. Because yes, I made a mistake, a terrible one, but I never meant to play with your feelings, I never did on purpose... you might be the love of my life, but I cannot continue this game. You come, you take and then you leave me here, always trying to find a way to grab at least one tiny bit of what we were, but you won't let me. You say we are friends, and I agree because I would take whatever you threw at me in order to keep you near; but not anymore. _  
_This hurts me more than it will ever hurt you, because I'm the one who's still trying to get you back while you go and take what you want, just to throw it back at me when you're finished; but not anymore._  
_I'll miss you all my life, you're the love of my life, but I need to learn how to live by myself... I depend on someone who doesn't want to keep me. Not anymore._  
_I miss you already, please never forget me, I love you._  
_I'll miss your hugs, I'll miss your voice, and I'll miss your heart, as well as mine that stays and will always stay with you. _  
_So I'll go to that place that only we know by myself, and I'll try and remember every single minute we spent together, and I'll regret what I did the rest of my life; and I'll say the words you've been wanting to say this whole time: goodbye, I love you._"

Blaine ripped the page and kissed it once, twice. He knew this was it, Kurt was not going to try and reach him again, because that was exactly what he was asking him to do, was it?  
No, it was a test: he wanted Kurt to come back, to answer and say that it was all a misunderstanding... but that's not what comes after this kind of letter. Now he was about to start a new lifestyle, he was about to send this letter and then he'd have to learn how to live without his soulmate, this time for real.  
Was he?


	2. Time to go

**I know i said it was going to be a OS, but the bunnies in my head decided that there was more to this story and so here i am, writing chapter number 2. This one was written while listening to "My dark side" glee's version too so if you want you can read while listenin too ;)**

**Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed and reviewed. This is the first time im uploadin a story and so it means the world for me to know wether you like it or not! (:**  
**PS: if anyone would like to become my beta, i'd be forever thankful! **  
**-xo,kat**

**I OWN NOTHIN, if i did glee would turn into BLEE.**

* * *

"Uh... Rach, what do you think he meant with this?"  
Kurt was flaring Blaine's letter in the air, worry marked his face while he was trying to get Rachel's attention. Of course the girl was too worried with her own problems, because she was lost in thought.  
"Rach!"  
She turned around and looked at Kurt as if she had never seen him before. "What did you just say?"  
"I was telling you that Blaine sent me a letter talking about the night after the marriage fiasco"  
"...And?"

Kurt let out a breathe, maybe he was being paranoid, because of course Blaine wouldn't do that to him. He just wouldn't and Kurt knew that... but the letter seemed pretty serious and he deserved at least some attention from his friend.  
"and he says he's saying goodbye to me like, forever"  
"Well he might aswell have finally found some self appreciation and step aside"  
"what!? This-" he started, once again flaring the letter "has nothing to do with his ego, he's just being drammatic!"  
"Kurt" Rachel finally stood up from the couch so that she was facing her best friend. She took both his hands into hers and winced a bit before talking, as if the words were about to hurt her "Blaine loves you"  
"Yeah, I've known that for a while thank you very much" he deadpanned  
"Just... listen" she started once again. When Kurt calmed down she continued "he loves you, and these past months he's been doing everything to get you back"  
"But he cheated on me!" Kurt interrutped  
"and he regretted it ever after!" she was starting to speak louder, which meant that she had a point to prove, Kurt knew her and so he started finally worrying. He felt his eyes watering while he listened to Rachel  
"Kurt... he regretted it, and he tried everything so you would forgive him. Now it seems that you having sex with him and then asking to stay friends was what it took for him to crack, and then realize that you didn't want him anymore"  
"Nobody said I didn't!"

That was it. Kurt felt the tears falling from his eyes; Blaine couldn't leave, he would never... he knew Kurt loved him, and it wasn't as if he hadn't said it when he came for christmas.  
"Kurt, you used him"  
"And he cheated!"  
"So did I, with Finn, you know" Rachel continued "and it was a mistake, but thats just what it was. Even the best of us make 'em from time to time"  
"But I needed time..."  
"You had time, Kurt. Blaine waited, and I'm sorry to say that this time I think I get what he's saying"  
"I can't lose him, Rach"  
"I'm afraid that then you'll have to win him back"

Kurt looked at his friend and then back to the letter, still in his hand. He could picture Blaine writing it, he could even see him when he closed his eyes; those puppy dog eyes watering as he realized that he wasn't going to get Kurt back ("_you never really lost me!_"), the way he would put his hand over his mouth so that no sound would come out, the way he would sweat because of the effort of keeping his emotions hidden so that his parents wouldn't come asking what was wrong. And then what?  
Kurt couldn't picture what Blaine would do after sending the letter.  
"You think he's okay, Rach?"  
"You could try calling, he could tell you himself"

* * *

He wouldn't answer his call. Blaine had promised to himself that the letter was for real and he knew that if he heard Kurt's voice he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crawling back.  
So there he was, staring at his phone and grabbing his desktop so hard that his fingers were turning white; but he would not answer.  
When the song he had chosen for Kurt's number stopped, he looked up to the ceiling and stood up again, he had things to pack and a party where he had to be in about half an hour.

He remembered the conversation he had had with Sam, remembered the way he exploded and told him that Kurt was the only reason why he had left Dalton; he thought it was worth it, he still did if not for the heartache he was feeling now, the sensation that he was never going to get over this -but he was a teenager, and this dramma was normal... at least that's what he wanted to believe, this had to be normal.

"Isn't it?" Blaine asked to himself, ignoring the tears that were falling from his eyes. _Why had Kurt been calling the past hour? _He wasn't supposed to call, because Blaine wouldn't be able not to answer, would he?  
He let the air out of his lungs slowly and then continued packing. He had a lot to do before leaving to Sam's goodbye party.

* * *

"He won't answer, Rachel!" He was freaking out, and he didn't even care that Brody was now openly staring at him from across the room, silently asking Rachel what was going on. Instead of explaining, she just grabbed Kurt by the shoulders and made him look at her directly to the eyes.  
"Kurt, just... shut up, damn it!"  
The swearing had worked, Kurt had been effectively silenced "Now, calm down" she started again, calmer herself "and think what you're going to do next, okay?"  
"Die?"  
"No, let's stop this pity party and find a way to solve this, I mean, it's just a letter, it doesn't mean that he's never going to see you or talk to you again"  
"Rachel" Kurt answered "As a matter of fact, that's exactly what he wrote; you don't understand! it was part of our code: I said to him I was never saying goodbye as a way of telling him that we were end game... him saying this, he might aswell say that we're never seeing each other again and it would be the same"

"It's not my place, but if you ask me... he seems to be trying to work his life out, and since you moved on, Kurt, the fact that he would eventually do too never crossed your mind?"  
The silence that followed Brody's words was almost tangible.

* * *

Blaine knew rumours were quickly spreading among New Directions, he even got a call from some of the warblers -how did _they_ get the news was absolutely unknown to him, but irrelevant too. They must think he's a coward, always running from place to place when things get ugly; maybe he was. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that since Kurt was the only real reason for him to transfer to McKinley, the reasonable thing to do is grab the little pieces of life he could and reorganise things. Staying there would be torture, everything remembered him of Kurt Hummel. Even his own house, his own bed!  
So his father's offer wasn't hard to accept. He'd just wait the next week and then leave.

* * *

"Kurt, what are you doing? stop typing so hard, hey! you're going to break that thing!"  
"I'm buying plane tickets, Rach"  
"What?!"  
"In a few hours I'll be back in Lima, you can come too if you want"  
"Oh my god, Kurt are you crazy?!"  
"I think I've been acting like a crazy person these months, I guess I'm just sane now... or getting there at least"  
Rachel smiled and crossed her arms, resting her body next to the door that led to her room "ok, I guess I've got a bag to pack"

**I hope you like this, I'll be updating soon (: once again thank you for reviewing and following/favoriting**

**starstrukkxxx ****So here it is, Kurt's reaction to the letter, i hope you liked it and well i guess you'll see more of it when i update next time, thx for reviewing! you were the first one who did! :D:D**

**StoryDreamer**** urwelcome! yea youre not the only one... i think blaine's characters been destroyed i mean, he turned into this sad little thing that cries around for kurt like always and i think he deserves better, blainers the best person ever and he made a mistake, rachel said it herself, thats just what it was! (well and tina said it too, i think i had never loved her more) i hope you liked the second chapter!**

**Blackness**** I'm glad you liked the first chapter, well it was rough written because i guess a letter like that would be really emotional and even a bit senseless cause basically Blaine's vomiting his mind out and well.. i guess thats how i imagine it would be hahah but im glad you liked it, i think itsbeen enough of blaming blaine and hatin on him because hes not the only one to blame, tbh i think kurts been the worst of em both, so i hope you like this second part (: ill update again soon**


	3. So we meet again

**It's been quite a long time, and first of all I've got to say R.I.P Cory :( it really wasn't something I was expecting and I happened to really, really like him for who he was. He seemed to be a very good person, so its our loss and a tragedy that someone so young and talented dies. We'll always love him 3**

**Soo I don't think I like this chapter very much but it had to be done and so here it is! (: I hope you guys appreciate it more than I do. **  
**I'll reiterate that I NEED a beta, pretty please? **  
**so that's it, thanks for reviewing, that makes me smile :D  
-xo,kat. **

The very same night Blaine had his goodbye party at Sam's place, Kurt was flying back to Ohio so that he could get his ex boyfriend back. He had called his dad, and he said he knew nothing about Blaine, which seemed odd since Burt had been the boy's biggest supporter all along. So the flight came and went pretty quickly, all Kurt could think about was how was he going to get Blaine back, and Rachel's multiple plan's -that seemed to be getting worse by the minute "_oh but maybe you should just go serenade him by his window!_", "_or buy him a lil' puppy and then sing a song about it to him! he does look like a puppy after all_"- weren't helping to calm his nerves.

* * *

"Dude, are you really not gonna tell us where you're going?"  
Sam looked at his newfound best friend. Blaine just bit his lip and sighed, he was determined not to say a word about what he planned on doing the very next day, nor the rest of his life for all he knew. He loved all these people he had met, but he was sure that any of them would tell Kurt in a heartbeat if he ever asked where to find Blaine; and he said he was going to get out of his life... completely.  
So he just faked a laugh and put his best 'sorry' face.  
"Y'know I already told you it's a secret"  
"Brit said she's sure you're not telling because you're leaving to become an international spy"  
"And I already told her that the gel doesn't turn me into a modern version of James Bond" Blaine corrected, laughing at the blonde's antiques.  
Sam just shrugged "It could actually relate you to the CIA"  
"Well it has nothing to do with it" Blaine just smiled. He was actually gonna miss the New Directions. Not so much Mickenley's bullies, though.  
He looked at his watch, midnight had gone by quickly and he had a plane waiting for him in about three hours. It was time. He'd be leaving to spend some days with his brother and then it'd be back to Dalton.

* * *

I lost him.  
That's what got through Kurt's mind when he finally got to Lima.  
Blaine was gone; Sam had told him that they'd given his ex a goodbye party and that the only thing he knew was that he wasn't coming back to McKinley. Where to? No idea.

So Kurt put his brave face and exchanged a look with Rachel, who was looking worriedly at him. Where could Blaine be? There was only one name on Kurt's mind, Dalton Academy, and that'd be the first place he'd try.

* * *

"Blaine...?"  
He turned around when he heard Kurt's voice. The tone was soft, as if he knew how keen he was to explode not having even seen his face.  
It was too much. Turning around in that same staircase, staring at him a few steps higher than himself and looking fragile, as if he'd been crying. It was all too familiar, and Blaine couldn't stop himself from scrunching his nose and clenching his teeth.  
"What are you doing here" it was meant as a question even if it didn't sound like one "I thought you were in New York merrily living with that Adam guy."  
"His name's not Adam... that's the choir n-" Kurt started answering, quietly when the yelling cut him off.  
" ' " Blaine couldn't believe himself. The last time he had lost control like that was back when his brother visited last year, he remembered boxing was the only thing that put his mind back together; too bad he hadn't brought his punching bag back to Dalton yet. "I really don't give a flying fuck about his name, nor do I care wether you love him already or if you're letting him screw you just the way you did me the last time we-" now it was Kurt's turn to yell, coming down the few steps that separated him from Blaine and grasping him by the elbow.  
"I don't love him, Blaine!" he took a breath, staring at a now quiet Blaine who was avoiding to look back at any cost "and I did not screw you, and don't say fuck either" he alerted, noticing that the boy in front of him was about to cut him off once again. Blaine remained quiet after the warning "I was dating this guy, he really tried and help me get over your cheater ass, y'know" Kurt stated, almost angrily until he remembered why he was here in the first place "But I just seem unable to do that, and that's what I told him before coming"  
Blaine finally looked up to meet his gaze, his hazel eyes making him look just like a lost puppy. Kurt felt the need to hug him close, but stopped himself and insted started talking again.  
"I keep trying"  
"And how much more do I have to wait" Blaine asked brokenly "I'm still here waiting for an answer, you keep saying you love me, you come and use me then tell me there's nothing between us, it hurts"  
"Well it hurt being cheated on"  
Once again, anger showed up on Blaine's features "Oh so that gives you the right to break me into pieces over and over again, Kurt!? Yes, I made a fucking mistake" his voice was rising quickly and people started to look their way on the near hallway "The biggest fucking mistake I've ever committed! Yet you are the one who's been repeatedly digging a hole into my chest, telling me that you love me when you've got yourself a boyfriend-"  
"He's not my boyfriend"  
"Whatever the fuck you wanna call the damned prick!" Blaine wasn't gonna stop himself now from giving Kurt a piece of mind. He had said goodbye when he sent the letter, and it was Kurt's decision to come looking for him and pressure him into answers "You still fucked me while going out with him and even though you say you love me" he looked straight into Kurt's beautiful eyes, the one's he'd fallen in love with the first time they met in this very same staircase "you keep pushing me to the edge, keep saying you don't know what you want... for me it is clear"  
A few seconds in silence passed before Blaine resumed talking.  
"You say yourself that you want to get over me. Well flashing news, Kurt. I don't. And I won't ever be able to get over you, so why don't you just go away and forget everything about my sorry ass, so that you can finally start anew in New York..." his eyes were watering, so were Kurt's. This wasn't suposed to happen, he had transferred back to Dalton so Kurt would not come looking for him, he asked him not to do so, he had said goodbye. "...while I try and keep living, because I already know you won't forgive me... please at least stop giving me hope just for the like of cutting me to pieces right after. I can't take it anymore, Kurt"  
Blaine was broken. That much Kurt could gather; and it was his fault.  
So yes, he had cheated. And yes, it hurt more than anything he'd known. But he was really sorry, he demostrated how much he still loved him more than once and even his father went on board with his stunts... and Kurt still loved him, but he had finally put this boy down on his knees, he regretted what he did but didn't know how to turn back.

"You don't belong in here..."  
His words were almost a whisper, Blaine looked up again with watery eyes as he shook his head, smiling humorlessly.  
"Dalton is where I belonged all along, Kurt. I only transferred because of you, and you're not in McKinley anymore. God you're not even in my life anymore!" he looked up and bit his lower lip, then back to Kurt. "I love you, Kurt... and since this is the only thing I can do so you can be happy, I'm getting completely out of your life"  
"I never said-"  
"You say you want to get over me, so the only way is for you not to know about me anymore"  
Blaine turned and started walking away. Kurt wanted to stop him, he wanted to do so with all his heart and he almost did; but he just stayed there, not even breathing for a while.  
Blaine was broken.  
It was his fault.  
Blaine should be set free to continue his life.

What else should Kurt do? He was wrong, the one who needed to get over this relationship was Blaine himself; Kurt might love him -hell he knew he did, with every single fiber of his body-, but he had also used the poor boy until the only thing left was that kind mask that Blaine wore, that smooth smile and the dapper ways that he had once learned and was running back to now. Of course he would run back to Dalton, he was a bird whose wings had been broken once and healed in a cage, and he had been hurt all over again right after he went out; the only expected scenario was that the broken bird would come back so he could heal once again; but that's what he'd become again: a caged bird.  
"Kurt! is that you?" he heard an excited voice calling for him, it sounded like his old classmate and fellow warbler Jeff. But Kurt couldn't stay there without pulling his hair off his head with his bare hands. He had just lost the love of his life once and for all. So he just kept walking and got himself out of Dalton and into his Navigator just so he could cry himself out.

He'd have to break his promise, he'd say goodbye to Blaine. Could he?


End file.
